Winds of Outer Space

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space background from http://wonderfulengineering.com

 Photo take in my living room.

In the middle of the night, I woke up slightly from the strong wind outside my window, howling like a night wolf. Halfway between sleep and awake, I took part in a journey that might have been a dream or may have been real.

The wind had a vast sound to it that made it seem like I wasn’t on earth anymore. I got up from my bed and looked out the blinds and I saw endless amounts of stars. My eyes widened as if I had just been punched in the stomach, the unbelievable beauty of a nebula creeped into view — its pink fluffiness stretching out like an arm as it floated on past me. As I continued to watch, the wind blowed itself harder; the walls of the room crumbled away like bits of a broken chocolate chip cookie. Only the ground of the bedroom, with a huge chuck of earth rock was under me, the wind’s untamed air incasing my body, it felt warm and made me feel secure — no sense of danger in my heart. I watched the nebula go out of sight as galaxies formed around me, feeling the massive distance between us, I did not feel alone, but I questioned why I wasn’t afraid. Whisking past me in an instant were a family of big green and blue aura rocks; they seemed in a hurry, wherever they were going. The wind now felt like it was guiding me somewhere.

For a while, magnificent stretches of jagged light passed over me; many different colours, it felt like the lights were waving to me — happy to see me blowing across space. I caught eye of the sun as it came closer and closer, then I knew where I was going; I thought, “Will I die in the sun?” The ground that was under my feet crumbled away, floating in space, the wind’s presence still with me. As I got to the sun’s lavaic surface, my body plunged in, and, at the same moment, turned into crystal form; I looked at my hands to see clear quartz fingertips. The wind carried me to the depths of the lava ocean, I could feel the multi-layered-infused, dense energy of the sun. The liquid energy, orange and yellow in colour, dissolved into my clear quartz skin. I could see it floating within me, the tension that was in my body left immediately, I was now a part of the sun.

Waking up in my bed, hearing the wind again outside the window, my body felt hot. I pulled open the covers and checked if my wife was still next to me. Yet again, an amazing experience — not sure if it was just a dream or if it was real.

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Day 20: Blogging Thus Far

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Photo take in my living room

The days just seem to fly on by, especially when you’re having fun; I’ve certainly felt that way these past nineteen days of writing. Each day I choose my topic, find a place to sit, then watch the magic happen as the ideas are born in my mind; those ideas stream through my hands as they are translated to form words and phrases. In many ways, these are small miracles happening as I’m connecting with my readers in a way the world connects with me. Many of the subjects I’ve written were very scary for me to put out there, such as: Triad Relationships and What a Vibrational Match Means. I wasn’t very sure how those two subjects would be turn out, because of how intricate they are, however, I found the way. Of course it’s been with the help of my wife, who has proofread a lot of my blogs and is teaching me about grammar along the way — although sometimes there are word wars on how I want to say things.

The reason I’ve taken the 30 day blogging challenge is to build up my confidence. I wrote a book last year (2014) and I thought it was a complete failure, due to the grammatical problems. I also felt that anyone who read it, wouldn’t understand what I was trying to say, and the way I was saying it. There are many things that go on in my mind that I wish to share with the world. Many of which come from such a different way of thinking than our minds are used to, it wouldn’t know how to grasp them— a problem many artists face. So, I had lost hope, and I thought I wouldn’t be able to get my message to the world, and a very big message it is. However, my confidence has been rising greatly and I’m ready to face my book again, ready to make additions to it and fix all of the problems, plus, enhance some of the visuals and examples throughout the book.

What I’ve also seen with writing this much is that: I’m not really bad at writing at all. The things I told myself about having bad grammar and punctuation are exactly what were holding me back in the first place. I took it upon myself to read other bloggers on wordpress and I must say, my writing is REALLY good. So, I have to give myself enough credit and be gentle with myself. If there are people out there who think the same way as me about bad grammar and punctuation, take it easy. I’ve been writing a lot in the library and, occasionally, I look through a “writing in english” book that’s given me even more confidence in finding my voice through words. So the power is mine and I will use it to perform my purpose in this world and deliver my messages to all those it is intended for.

Get real world, I’m coming for you!

How to REALLY Find Your Purpose

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Photo taken at Mottisfont, UK

“We’re not here because we’re free; we’re here because we’re not free. There’s no escaping reason, no denying purpose, for as we both know, without purpose we would not exist. It is purpose that created us, purpose that connects us, purpose that pulls us, that guides us, that drives us; it is purpose that defines us, purpose that binds us. We are here because of you, Mr. Anderson. We’re here to take from you what you tried to take from us. Purpose.”— Smith, The Matrix Reloaded.

Anytime I hear people talk about finding their purpose, I think about what Smith says and I can’t help but agree. Purpose does drive us and guide us, for if we didn’t have purpose, what would be the whole point? At the same time, Smith makes another very interesting point: “We’re not here because we’re free; we’re here because we’re not free.” He’s not saying we’re not free to make choices, but rather not free from our purpose that is deep within our being, waiting to come out.

Purpose can be understood in two ways here: purpose in life, in other words something that will enrich you and the people around you, or: the purpose you’re supposed to do. “Supposed” is a very offsetting word, it could lead you down the path of doing things you really don’t want to. It’s recommended to drop supposed from your vocabulary and see how much it changes your views on things, and how much of a choice you have. There is one thing I know that is very true, and I want you to read this very carefully: You’ve already determined — before you began this life — what your purpose is, you’re only here to remember what that was and to perform it in this world.

People ask the most important question when everything appears to go completely wrong: “What is my purpose?” And, “Why the hell am I here on this planet?” Answers to these questions are never easy, because of the amount of distractions in our lives that we deal with on a daily basis. These days more and more people are starting to realize that they hate their jobs, you see it everywhere, and it’s becoming a more commonly talked topic among friends. If you’re one of those people who can’t wait until Friday or watches the clock closely until it’s 5pm, or the end of your shift, then you’re in this category. It sucks; you want to get out of there, never come back… but… you need the money to pay your bills, buy food and allow you to do the things you choose to do. You need that job, or else, you won’t survive — that’s what the majority of people say to themselves each day to keep them going. At the same time, this is the same thing that keeps you going in the ever lasting circle of tiredness, grumpiness, settling for less, thinking you can’t do more with your life, etc. On top of that, if you don’t do it, you won’t be accepted socially and often times, you’ll feel (or they’ll tell you) that you’re disappointing your family. What are we supposed to do?

To really find your purpose requires compassion, discipline, and motivation — lots and lots of discipline. The first thing you have to realize is that the things you need in your life are very valid. Yes, you need money to have a place to sleep, eat, etc. There isn’t any reason to deny or try to cover up that basic fact, however, your purpose can fulfil those needs, but only if you let them. Let’s step back for a moment; let’s say you have a job you hate already and you just want to know what your purpose is, because by knowing it you’ll feel a little more confident about pursuing your purpose. The amount of time needed to find your purpose can take from ten minutes to ten years — that’s where the discipline comes in, so don’t beat yourself up about the time frame. Breathe, here’s what you need to do:

For a little while, drop the whole idea about needing to survive, the world won’t explode if you spend time thinking about what you really want in life for a little while. Relax, turn off the T.V., ask someone to look after the kids, close your eyes on the train or bus, rid yourself of the distractions and think about what you really like to do. Go as far back as to when you were a small child; what did you love doing? What made you smile the most? What made the time just fly by when you did it? Let the answers come to you, don’t worry about time, relax and allow the answers to reach you — this is where compassion comes in, because you’ll doubt the first thought that’ll come into your mind and then the whole judging process will begin. Instead of judging those thoughts, follow them and see where they take you. Repeat it: What do I love to do? What makes me feel good about myself? If you don’t know then rephrase the question: What would I love to do? What would make me feel good about myself when I do it? For some it’ll just come, take note about how happy or joyful you feel. A few might run into some blocks, but ride those thoughts you think were what you liked until you do. Many others might not come up with anything, if you come up dry, there is a task you’ll need to do for fifteen days — yes, some more discipline here.

For the first week, twice a day, think of something that would give you the highest joy in the very moment. This could be telling a friend a funny joke or doing a small drawing during your lunch break. You can choose when and where to do it, but to get the best effect from it, do it right in the middle of something else — that’s right, be a little crazy and take a chance. Then, write down what you did and keep it handy. The second week, do it three times every day and document it. Once you’ve completed that, go back to asking yourself the questions in the paragraph above.

Motivation is going to be the biggest anchor to the whole process, tied in with some more discipline. Keep in mind your biggest motivation is the job you hate right now, so focus as much as you can on finding your purpose so you can either A. get the hell out of there, or B. feel happier in yourself and make your work environment a pleasant one. Know and believe that your purpose is there, you haven’t gone through you whole life not knowing what you love — that’s impossible. Something, somewhere, gave a hint to what it is and you must play the detective role to find it — be Batman about it. There are plenty of inspirational materials out there, however, that won’t keep you going. You, are going to have to keep you going. Once you’ve accepted that you’re the one in control of your life, you’ve found all the power!

Overall, if you’re already asking yourself these questions, you’re already on the way. If you haven’t realized, your purpose is there waiting for you to discover it and you’ve got to dig for it. Dig for it like you need money so you can quit that job you hate, dig for it like you need air to breathe, dig for it as if someone is holding a gun to your head. Dig, then dig some more. Have compassion for yourself and don’t give up, because otherwise you’re going to end up feeling like crap in a few weeks time when the whole cycle starts again. Don’t go in circles. Don’t give up on you.

Never give up!

Theories: What a Vibrational Match Means

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Photo taken in my living room..

There’s a phrase that gets used a lot in the “spiritual” community “Being a vibrational match to — fill in the blank”. For those who have stumbled across this blog or just don’t know what it is, I’ll be explaining — to the best of my ability — what this actually means. For the most part, I’ll be explaining what it means to be a vibrational match to people and or circumstances in life. Don’t worry, this’ll probably be much more entertaining than informative.

Before we get into the meat of what a vibrational match is, we need to understand what vibration means. Of course, it sounds just like what it is, but, in this particular context , it means much more than you might think. Everything that’s in existence has a vibration to it, a type of frequency. If you could imagine colours, each colour has a code. For example: FF000 is a colour shade for yellow, and 74DF00 is a colour shade for green. As colours gets more complicated so does the combinations of numbers, just as when it comes to people, and the complexities give off their own unique value. Frequency plays a big role when it comes to vibration matching. The universal example that’s often used is; having cable television with five hundred plus channels. By switching to each channel, you’re tuned into what that channel has to show — all the while the other channels are still running in real time. To be a match to those channels depends on what you’re interested in viewing. All of this goes on in our life; we think a particular thing and somewhere in our reality it will appear, it can present itself very subtly or it can scream in your face like a angry monkey in Gibraltar.

Take a moment and think about something in your life you thought about first, before an indication of it came in your reality — a friend? Being in a relationship? A camera you like? Shoes you want to buy? This isn’t to be confused with full on conscious manifestation, however, these frequencies of thought that you’re tapping into are physically bringing you into the reality of other people, places or things that are similar to what your original thought was. For example, if you were thinking about getting a loved one a gift for their birthday; on your way home you’d hear someone else talk about buying a gift for someone, or you’d see a billboard on the side of a bus referring to “getting the perfect gift,” as it drove on by. You, were a vibrational match to those people walking down the street next to you and being at the right moment and time to see the billboard.

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Photo from nord5g.com

As things become more intricate, you start to see that there are high vibrations and low vibrations. High vibrations are simply frequencies with more complexities, while low vibration have less complexities. A Japanese doctor named Masaru Emoto who did experiments on water saw that words and thoughts can create higher or lower vibrations. The diagram (above) shows a super close up shot of water with the prescribed set of words with them. As you can see when it comes to positive words, much more complex and pleasant images are formed in comparison to the negative words. This further proves that vibrations even exist even within our bodies—and how we think effects our vibration and thus shifts our frequency. And, since our bodies are about fifty to sixty percent water, that can be a lot of toxicity or healthy thoughts floating around already.

If we are thinking a massive amount of negative thoughts, this then creates a negative vibration throughout the body. Doing that long enough would bring something — physically — into our reality which was a vibrational match to those thoughts and feelings. For example: If you told yourself that you’re worthless and no one will recognise you for the talents you have. Those thoughts would create a lower vibration in your body and thus propel you into a reality where you’re a vibrational match to people, places and circumstances that do not even see your talents, but just walk on by. The same goes for positive thoughts.

Now, if you thought the vibrational frequencies only worked on a conscious level, then, you’re not seeing the bigger picture. These vibrations also work on a subconscious level, meaning, even though you thought up something minutes or days ago, those same people, places, and circumstances can arise and without any conscious awareness. Ever said to yourself “I can’t believe this is happening?” or “Why me!” or “Why is this happening to me now?” Yes, that is because of your subconscious— and many times conscious — thoughts that you tell yourself and are being brought, periodically, into your reality. There is a force out there that is consistently working to provide you with what you want, and just by telling yourself you don’t want something, is a want.

Recently, I decided to test this theory on Facebook. Since I would say I have a large variety of people on my friends list, I knew I could get all kinds material shot at me — and at a quick pace. It took a lot of thinking but I did see that many of the things that were showing up on my newsfeed were thoughts I had had, either earlier in the day, a few days ago, or had worried about briefly. I didn’t stop there, I’ve also taken a much more conscious look at my reality when interacting with people in the real world and it’s the same thing, even if I am not talking to those people directly, still places and circumstances were provided based on what I was thinking. And yes, it does take a lot of practice and awareness to see these things because we become distracted very easily. It’s a beautiful day, interesting people walk by, someone does something funny, you’re too busy thinking about the next thing, then all of a sudden something happens, which was a result of a thought, thought long ago.

So, how does one place themselves in a higher vibration in order to bring wonderful and positive people, places and circumstances? It’s very simple; think positively as much as you can. Don’t get me wrong — I said it was simple, not easy. However, that’s all you have to do. How you get there is up to you. You have to know what it is you want out of life, and then trust in those positive thoughts. It’s easy to fall into negativity because we look to the outside world first instead of the inside. But, give it a try, think of something small and build up from there.

Do you know what a vibrational match means and have you noticed them in your life?

Kambô; From Poison to Medicine: Session 2

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Photo taken right after session 2, the dark spots over the dots are dragons blood

After doing the first Kambô session (Kambô; From Poison to Medicine: Session 1), four weeks passed before doing the second session. During those four weeks, several new aspects of awareness were, let me say, activated.

Three days after the first session, the energy level in my body increased. I would wake up every morning feeling refreshed and brand new. My mind had less chatter, it felt like I was sitting in an open field with a cool breeze blowing on me. Meditations were deeper and more enriching, as well as my ability to do shadow work and heal my emotional bodies; there was certainly a huge shift taking place. Integrating these aspects of myself opened up so many feelings, discoveries and mysteries I had been trying to find answers to for many years. I just didn’t think it would take me getting married to an English woman, moving to England, doing Kambô and finally reaching these depths of myself, as I had thought I would be able to do it on my own in NYC. However, life does its thing, where you must go through certain experiences before gaining new knowledge. The following weeks leading up to the second session of Kambô seemed to go by very quickly. There are other blogs that cover the types of meditations I did, The Inner Children and The Inner Children 2.

Back in the same room as the first session, the day was filled with sun and warm energy. It was nice to have the yellow rays of light coming in through the window to join us as we sat on the floor waiting for the practitioner to finish his preparations. There were fewer people now, my wife and I decided to sit a little closer to the beginning of the line, as we wanted to have more time to relax after the session was over. This time around, my wife went before me and I got to see her go through the process, which was nice. The Kambô seemed to be going through people’s system a lot faster that day. My wife turned ultra red only after the first dot of medicine was applied— I thought: “Here comes the roller-coaster ride!”

I drank my six pints of water and went up to where the practitioner was waiting for me; eleven dots burned into my left arm. The first piece of medicine was placed, I waited, taking in a deep breath, listening for my heart beat to begin echoing. I looked up slightly, earlier they had closed the curtain over the large windows, but a streak of sunlight was shining through the top of the room. I looked closely at the dust floating in the light and suddenly I felt so wonderful in my body. Heat rushed over me like I was putting a winter coat on, heart fluttering like an orange and black butterfly on a summer morning. I inhaled deeply and visualized pulsating rainbow colored light coming off my body, it was unbelievable how great I felt. Once all of my eleven dots were covered with the medicine, I went back to my spot next to my wife, placing my bucket between my legs. I slowly rocked, side to side, as I could feel the swaying energy in the room. Two helpers sat with me, one in front of me fanning palo santo, the other, on my right with her left hand on the middle of my back. I had more awareness around me more than the first session. I could almost respond better as well — then it hit me. It felt like a napkin absorbing water, it wasn’t a nice feeling; that’s when I knew it was time for work. I shifted my body several times so that I could purge properly and not lean awkwardly. Suddenly I could hear a rattle instrument behind me. I opened my eyes slightly and I could see it was the practitioner, I also saw my wife almost completely recovered, smiling gently at me.

Having eleven dots meant there was going to be much deeper work, and it sure felt like it. After I purged every ounce of water out of my stomach, the practitioner removed the Kambô and things started to feel like they were under control again, although I still felt a bit heavy as I think I had more to purge but couldn’t. I laid on my mat for a long while, my body temperature dropped and I felt like I had just run twenty miles. I definitely felt the complete opposite than at the beginning of the session. Uneasiness left with me that day.

In two weeks will be the final Kambô session and I will write about what I went through leading up to then. Any further questions please leave them in the comments blow. Until then, be good.

Authenticity and Blogging

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Photo taken in Dominican Republic

Throughout the last eight days, I have been participating in a thirty-day blog challenge with a close friend of mine from NYC. With each blog I’ve worked hard to produce pieces of writing that are authentic and close to me, however, some online magazines that republish blogs and articles have told me that one of the blogs I sent them for submission was in too much of a “bloggy” tone. Until this day I have no idea what that means, but it does raise alarm bells in my mind.

Being overall grateful to even get this kind of reply, I had to really think about my style. I strive to be as authentic as I can, writing in a way so that it feels like I’m speaking with you face to face. My favorite book, “Hector and the Secrets of Love,” has the style closest to what I want to achieve in my writing. The whole reason I decided to take on this blogging challenge is to practice how to use words in the best possible way. For the longest time, I believed my writing was the most horrible thing on the planet, and that my imagination can go far beyond the limitation of grammar and punctuation. However, being a film-maker and wanting to write my own scripts, I had to focus on creating texts that touch people’s hearts in a way that films can’t do.

I’ve spent a lot of time in my life being different and standing out; from presenting Japanese as a language portfolio in high school in order to graduate— Spanish being the only language taught at the time— to marrying my wife and taking her last name. I continue to ask myself: how authentic can I be when I do anything? As the years go by, it’s becoming harder and harder to be very different in a world filled with people all doing the same thing. Nonetheless, I still find some way to surprise myself and the people around me.

Blogging is certainly not an easy thing, especially on a daily basis. Spending a lot of time daydreaming, I tend to create things in pictures more than textual concepts. For so long, I’ve been training my awareness in order to take these daydreams and turn them into films, which was challenging enough. Now, bending my mind to be more aware of the philosophical concepts going on in my mind and translating it into text is new territory I’m venturing into. For those who know me, they would say I have a certain kind of wisdom to me. Blending the elements of blogging, visuals, philosophical concepts and wisdom into a 500 to 2000 word document without boring the reader sounds right up my alley for achieving authenticity and distinguishment — the joy of making my own words.

Only a few more days (21) until this challenge is over. I’m not exactly sure if I’ll keep writing every day after that but I’ll be sure to type away with a new heightened state of awareness. The keen desire for authenticity in all the things I do really drives my creativity and motivates me in life, and, it’s a fine time to take control and embrace this hidden talent in me. No need to worry, you have talents too, and they’ll be there until you are ready to see them.

True Stories: A Milkshake

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Disclaimer: The following story happened a year ago in NYC.

For some reason after watching a T.V. show, I wanted to have a milkshake. After countless stomach pains I got from having milkshakes in the past, I was a bit reluctant about the idea of going through the discomfort. However, I still wanted to experience the sensation of sipping on a strawberry shake through a straw while watching more shows on Netflix. I decided to take a trip to Burger King, which was right across the street from where I lived.

Standing in line, all I thought about was the agony I was going to feel after drinking it. I questioned myself: Why in the hell am I getting this if I all I’m going to do is suffer after? As I was about to turn around and leave, I remember a experiment that Dr. Masaru Emoto did involving how thoughts, words and music change the molecular structure of water in both positive and negative ways; I wanted my milkshake to have as much positivity as possible so my stomach wouldn’t suffer. Since the people making the milkshake were behind the counter and did not have enough time to attach words to the cup or play music, I’d have to get positivity into it from a different angle. I figured if I got the people preparing the milkshake to do so with a positive intention then I could get what I wanted. But, how exactly could I do that?

Approaching the counter, still not sure about what to do, I asked for my milkshake but then proceeded to ask: “Can you put some extra love in it please?” The woman behind the counter looked me straight in the eyes and said, “What’s love?” I made a bewildered face and said, “You don’t know what love is?!” The woman snickered and looked over to another woman at the drive-thru window. She called out to her and the woman looked back at her. “Do we have love here?” she asked jokingly. The people behind me started to laugh, I tried to keep a serious face as I was determined to get love into my milkshake. The woman by the drive-thru said “I don’t know what that is.” The woman behind the counter laughed out loud, then walked off to find another person in the back. She continued to ask if there was any love in the store and everyone replied questioningly. Everyone behind the counter was smiling, their faces revealing a bit of confusion. I thought to myself, I must be the craziest person to ask such a thing; my arm pits filled with sweat.

From all the smiling and lighter movements the people behind the counter were making, I wasn’t exactly sure if I achieved what I wanted— but they sure couldn’t stop talking about it. I stood there the entire time it took for my milkshake to get into my hands, sarcastic remarks flapping around the room, like a sea lion at sea-world. Even other customers had joined in and were joking about how they wanted love in their food too.

It wasn’t until later, drinking my milkshake at home and watching my T.V. shows that I realised that it did taste a lot better. Also, after a few days I noticed I didn’t have the usual harsh stomachache like I always did. I wonder if it paid off doing what I did. Or maybe, it was all in my head.