Calm In the Mist of Chaos

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Photo taken at 233rd St, The Bronx, NYC

Standing at the platform edge in a tunnel, a man with a blue knitted hat leans over the edge to check if a train is coming. Only darkness is seen, he steps back and shifts his weight to his left leg. He looks around and sees the long faces of his fellow train riders, waiting, as they type away on their mobile phones, one woman looking at her face from the front camera. He shifts his weight to the other leg, something pinches him in his pocket. As he reaches in, he frowns questioningly at a half bent paper clip. The screeching of iron on the tracks grabs his attention as a train pulls into the station. The people and the man gather by the train door, they make a small opening for people coming out.

The train car is filled with all types of people, lucky for the man he’s entered a train that has no air conditioning. A small baby crying in the distance from discomfort, laughing teenagers discussing Pokemon cards, a woman with a disgusted look on her face — most likely from the heat. Holding on to a tiny portion of the handrail, an asian woman with a large backpack rocks back and fourth hitting his chest. The man’s frustration slowly escalates as there is no where for him to move to, no air to breathe. He notices the tension in his right ankle as he stands awkwardly to keep his balance— the train swaying this way and that way. The smell of armpits in the air, he tries hard not to breathe too deeply. Swirling the paper clip in his other hand he hears angry chatter of how hot it is in the train, as if it’ll make it any cooler he thinks to himself. He closes his eyes.

He feels the thinness of the paper clip, following the curves with his thumb, the muscles in his shoulders release as they drop a little. Slowly his feet position themselves in a way that he’s able to keep perfect balance— slowly moving the paper clip between his pointer and middle finger. He begins to see a light pouring out of his chest like a small waterfall, bouncing off the ground, the light flows, filling up throughout the train car. The light streams out of the windows, like fire blowing in the wind. A puncture of light comes out of his back, flooding the train car more. The white light, seeping through the connecting doors, finds its way, filling up each of the ten train cars. He can see the entire train as it appears to be blaring down the tracks, spraying white light at each station. Ripples of light radiating from his body, each person drenched in brilliant white light. He feels tingles in his toes as his fingers on the handrail loosen.

The man opens his eyes. Only four people are in the train car, lips hanging from their face, fast asleep. He realises he missed his stop. He looks down to see the paper clip on the floor, no longer bent but in its perfect form. He sits down, picks up the paper clip and rides the train until the end of the line, allowing his day to end when it feels like it.

The Healing Pond

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Photo taken in Southampton

Laying on my back on the sofa, I allow the muscles in my hips, shoulders and thighs to melt into the surface of the cushions; my legs sway a little as they naturally stop in their place. The tension behind my eyes are released, the feeling of peace reverberates to the centre of my body. Rising and falling, the air in my chest flows instinctively— slowly inhale, slowly exhale. My fingers slide apart into the sofa, the palms of my hands become soft as of a lovers graze. A gentle breeze, from no where, runs up my arm as the conjoined quiver slides down my spine; a large exhale.

As I sink deeper into myself, I begin to visualise a small pond surrounded by firm palm trees; the lines in their trunks are profound and distinct. The water is forming soft ripples, gliding along the surface, as if being combed by the wind. I walk slowly towards the pond and look down into it; blue light emanating from the bottom. My curiosity takes control as I try to get a clearer look at what’s there— diving into the water. Bubbles of all sizes form around my body, a bleak grey steam dissolves off my skin into the water, I’m rotating my arms to propel me into the depths of the pond.

Plunging through the mist, the blue light becomes more refine, revealing a cluster of very large clear quartz crystals— covering the entire floor of the pond, their pointed tips facing up towards me. I float in suspension, bewildered by the amount of crystals before me. The energy they emit sends tingles throughout my body. The vibration leaving me paralysed, my body starts to drift. Losing my poise, my back is pointed towards the crystals. The blue light beginning to enter the pores of my left arm, seeping into my cells, causing them to glow white. Lines of white light extend to my heart as it circulates through my body; the incandescent light encased my entire being.

Starting from my feet going up, my body becomes fragmented. Tiny balls form as they start to vibrate faster and faster and clash into each other vigorously. From where my head used to be, a crystallized head starts to form. My crystal-quartz-transparent-human-body floats in the middle of the pond, glowing yellow aura a few inches away from me, as I attempt to move my finger tips.

I breathe steadily as I move my toes and stretch my arms. I am recreated in higher vibration; my body feeling smooth and silky against the sofa. I slowly open my eyes and bring myself back to my reality, ready to share this new energy with the world.

A Walk in the Sand Dunes

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Taken near Eastleigh, UK

I was leaving from my weekly college class the other day, the sun shining directly onto me in the direction I needed to walk in; you can see from the photo above. I was in a state of detachment from the world and the people around me. I looked up, the sun rays engulfed me and immediately I felt like I was walking in the middle of a desert. With traditional Japanese music playing in my wireless headphones, my journey to the train station turned into a stroll through a sand dune.

I could see myself dressed in a long brown cloak with white wool clothed material, along with a grey turban to shield me from the suns rays; walking in a vast desolate space filled with gently blowing sand. I hold a long rope that sagged in the middle, three feet in front of my camel, I walk. A clear sky, filled with an unbelievable amount of blue that you can almost touch, the sun was fixed in front of me on the street. I could imagine only seeing my foot prints behind me as I walked in a direction that only had sand as far I could see. The sounds of the music in my ears made me feel like I was a lonely merchant walking to a far new land in search for products for business and trade. As I come to a crossing, a car passes in front of me, I approached the other side walk stepping over a puddle; I blink my eyes and see in my sand dune, the heat waves rising off the ground in the distance. A small pain in the ball of my right foot propelled me to imagine the hot sand going through my sandals, the slight frictionoman-sand-dunes_1124684c between the sand and my barefoot giving me a massaging sensation. The shuffling of what was in my backpack made me think that my camel and I were walking through the hot desert than actually being in our modern city street. I walked by a school where small children were playing outside, the thought of hearing the winds moaning in the distance as I place one foot in front of the other through the sand. Feeling more removed from my current reality, I bask in my imagination that seemed much more fulfilling.

I raised my head up to the sun, letting its warmth fill my face. I imagine being at a small oasis, poring cool water over my hot sweaty head. The soothing feeling of these opposing sensations fill my heart with calmness and tranquility. At the train station I stand in a stairwell, I can hear the wind making a gentle whisper near the hand rail. I move closer and I place my hand out as the wind seeps through my fingers. The sand falling through my fingers at the oasis, the orange light of the dusk sun. The world I’ve created is coming to a close as the train pulls into the station. The music drowns out as reality is back in motion.

Solo (Originally 29-Aug-2014)

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Taken at Bronx River Park, NYC

This entire week (Aug 24th-29th) I had been getting up early and taking walks through my local park. It’s very powerful being in nature, if only for a little while. During my walk, with camera in hand I found this spot and knew I had to do something. It was later after viewing the photo I discovered that it displayed the root of my personality, one in which I’ve only recently accepted fully.

A lot of people find it difficult spending time alone with themselves. For me, I’ve been so accustom to being alone that I crave it the most, I find power from it. However, I won’t lie, it does drive me crazy, and, at times I want to be around friends or familiar people. Lately I’ve been feeling the “pain”of being alone to be triggered by not being with friends and my wife. Since being so far away from my wife the “lonely” feeling arises more as a “need” than feeling alone in general. I say “need” because being without the person you love makes it feel far more worse than simply having no one there at all.

Apart from my wife, I am rather fond of being alone and spending time with myself. Not to say I don’t like being around my friends, it’s just that being alone is very rewarding. Being alone means listening to yourself, hearing what your heart has to say and really taking in how you feel. Of course many can’t handle that because half the time the heart is telling you how bad it feels because of how life had been going (the past) or where it’s going to end up (the future). However, those times when the heart tells you those things it really wants to be comforted by you (being in the present). To simply feel the feelings that arise and not ignore or resist them. “What you resist, persists,” something I’ve learned in my late teenage years and applied in my life is various ways. Recently, I’ve become better at the resistance and being more fluid and not fixed on things being only one way.

In the end, this photo represents my alone time and my acceptance to it. If you feel alone or want to be, it will be a great time for self discovery and exponential growth for the self, self confidence, independence and mental strength. No need to be afraid of yourself!

The Lonesome Rebirth (Originally made 04-Dec-2014)

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Photo taken in Winchester, England

It’s been nearly five weeks since I began living in England, and my lifestyle has definitely taken a huge turn. Adjusting to how local people talk, their mannerisms and even walking on the left — coming to England is like being reborn.

I’ve had to depend on my wife the entire time, leaving me kicking and screaming, powerless in moments when I would normally do things on my own. Day in and day out I’m seeing a person who is my lover, friend and boxing buddy. The playground of married life is indeed a big one, where opportunities to be alone are very slim, but, in those moments, wanting to be together the very next second. It’s an adventure shared by two people who are in love.

After spending a session in the shower the other day, I came to a very interesting conclusion regarding this aspect of my life. I saw it as me being a child again. You know, where you had to rely on your parents to get everything for you, give you money and ask their permission to do and organize things. In my situation, where I am living with my lover and starting a whole new lifestyle, it’s like my past life as Kevin Lewis, all of those emotions and experiences, needed to be integrated before coming into this new life. In many ways I can look back with approval of my past, because it has brought me to this point of expansion; there’s a sense of enrichment that filled my body.

Being in NYC, I spent a lot of time alone with myself, to think, feel, experience and witness a multitude of things. Now, this new journey has, in a sense, switched my north and south poles, so that now I spend time with my wife in those multitudes of situations which I had previously experienced on my own. That in itself is very exciting and I’m glad to keep moving forward.