Poetry: Torn

977A0762F

Photo taken in Mottisfont, UK

A foot in this world, another else where, polarities pull.
From a time without an ending, like a dream, I am suddenly alive.
Traveling through the murkiness of my reality, I loose my true self.
Years and years, a child, a teenager, a young man, a grown adult, navigating; the blind leading the blind.

Undoubtedly searching, a light outside to my inside, only to further sink in the quicksands of darkness.

When things no longer can get darker than any darkness, a light flickers.
Only descending will allow me to ascend.

The slip to regain balance, I stumble for alignment.
How true is light if it is not seen from my own consciousness?
The echoes of eternity beating in my own heart.

Cultivating in the warmth of my own light, I am pure and strong.
The sands of time are no more, only a budding flower in my sun.
Watching conversations of my ego to my heart, they struggle needlessly.
A coin of two sides not knowing they are one.
Outside of polarities, my feet firmly and sturdy, I am my true self, without any bounds.

Theories: What a Vibrational Match Means

977A1004FINAL

Photo taken in my living room..

There’s a phrase that gets used a lot in the “spiritual” community “Being a vibrational match to — fill in the blank”. For those who have stumbled across this blog or just don’t know what it is, I’ll be explaining — to the best of my ability — what this actually means. For the most part, I’ll be explaining what it means to be a vibrational match to people and or circumstances in life. Don’t worry, this’ll probably be much more entertaining than informative.

Before we get into the meat of what a vibrational match is, we need to understand what vibration means. Of course, it sounds just like what it is, but, in this particular context , it means much more than you might think. Everything that’s in existence has a vibration to it, a type of frequency. If you could imagine colours, each colour has a code. For example: FF000 is a colour shade for yellow, and 74DF00 is a colour shade for green. As colours gets more complicated so does the combinations of numbers, just as when it comes to people, and the complexities give off their own unique value. Frequency plays a big role when it comes to vibration matching. The universal example that’s often used is; having cable television with five hundred plus channels. By switching to each channel, you’re tuned into what that channel has to show — all the while the other channels are still running in real time. To be a match to those channels depends on what you’re interested in viewing. All of this goes on in our life; we think a particular thing and somewhere in our reality it will appear, it can present itself very subtly or it can scream in your face like a angry monkey in Gibraltar.

Take a moment and think about something in your life you thought about first, before an indication of it came in your reality — a friend? Being in a relationship? A camera you like? Shoes you want to buy? This isn’t to be confused with full on conscious manifestation, however, these frequencies of thought that you’re tapping into are physically bringing you into the reality of other people, places or things that are similar to what your original thought was. For example, if you were thinking about getting a loved one a gift for their birthday; on your way home you’d hear someone else talk about buying a gift for someone, or you’d see a billboard on the side of a bus referring to “getting the perfect gift,” as it drove on by. You, were a vibrational match to those people walking down the street next to you and being at the right moment and time to see the billboard.

thank_fool1
Photo from nord5g.com

As things become more intricate, you start to see that there are high vibrations and low vibrations. High vibrations are simply frequencies with more complexities, while low vibration have less complexities. A Japanese doctor named Masaru Emoto who did experiments on water saw that words and thoughts can create higher or lower vibrations. The diagram (above) shows a super close up shot of water with the prescribed set of words with them. As you can see when it comes to positive words, much more complex and pleasant images are formed in comparison to the negative words. This further proves that vibrations even exist even within our bodies—and how we think effects our vibration and thus shifts our frequency. And, since our bodies are about fifty to sixty percent water, that can be a lot of toxicity or healthy thoughts floating around already.

If we are thinking a massive amount of negative thoughts, this then creates a negative vibration throughout the body. Doing that long enough would bring something — physically — into our reality which was a vibrational match to those thoughts and feelings. For example: If you told yourself that you’re worthless and no one will recognise you for the talents you have. Those thoughts would create a lower vibration in your body and thus propel you into a reality where you’re a vibrational match to people, places and circumstances that do not even see your talents, but just walk on by. The same goes for positive thoughts.

Now, if you thought the vibrational frequencies only worked on a conscious level, then, you’re not seeing the bigger picture. These vibrations also work on a subconscious level, meaning, even though you thought up something minutes or days ago, those same people, places, and circumstances can arise and without any conscious awareness. Ever said to yourself “I can’t believe this is happening?” or “Why me!” or “Why is this happening to me now?” Yes, that is because of your subconscious— and many times conscious — thoughts that you tell yourself and are being brought, periodically, into your reality. There is a force out there that is consistently working to provide you with what you want, and just by telling yourself you don’t want something, is a want.

Recently, I decided to test this theory on Facebook. Since I would say I have a large variety of people on my friends list, I knew I could get all kinds material shot at me — and at a quick pace. It took a lot of thinking but I did see that many of the things that were showing up on my newsfeed were thoughts I had had, either earlier in the day, a few days ago, or had worried about briefly. I didn’t stop there, I’ve also taken a much more conscious look at my reality when interacting with people in the real world and it’s the same thing, even if I am not talking to those people directly, still places and circumstances were provided based on what I was thinking. And yes, it does take a lot of practice and awareness to see these things because we become distracted very easily. It’s a beautiful day, interesting people walk by, someone does something funny, you’re too busy thinking about the next thing, then all of a sudden something happens, which was a result of a thought, thought long ago.

So, how does one place themselves in a higher vibration in order to bring wonderful and positive people, places and circumstances? It’s very simple; think positively as much as you can. Don’t get me wrong — I said it was simple, not easy. However, that’s all you have to do. How you get there is up to you. You have to know what it is you want out of life, and then trust in those positive thoughts. It’s easy to fall into negativity because we look to the outside world first instead of the inside. But, give it a try, think of something small and build up from there.

Do you know what a vibrational match means and have you noticed them in your life?

A Night’s Dream

977A9735F

Photo taken at NewForest, UK

Brushing my teeth with my wife, we giggle as we try to understand each other as we speak at the same time. The faucet running in the background, waiting for the water to warm up. We go to the bedroom, I lay my head down on my comfy pillow, noticing the muscles in my back release instantly. My wife turns off the little crystal lamp we got as a wedding gift; I can almost feel like the energy of the crystal emanating in the room when the light is on. Immediate darkness captures the room, a short snuggle before drifting off into another world.

All sorts of colours emerge, almost like looking at a moving painting. The sky, filled with so much blue that it feels like there isn’t any ground under me—I’m laying flat on my bed, I turn to my left to see my wife’s back. I look outward and fields of grass are swaying in the breeze. I turn over to my right and a computer is there with Facebook open. My friend Blake’s face showing up near the chat bar, a warm feeling fills my heart. I’m typing to him but I can hear his voice too, a phone in my hand appears. Blake tells me that everything is going fine at the new workshop he’s put together for our friend Teal. I feel deeply proud of him for doing such a great job, his voice fills my heart as he tells me he needs to go. I lean back and look up into the sky, six very big bumble bees glide over me. Taking notice of the branches of a tree, I look intently at the details in the yellow leaves, wondrous and lush. Behind the trees the number nine-forms in the sky, as if planes were drawing it; my phone rings. When I answer, it’s a soft familiar voice, “Hey Kevin, its Teal, I’m calling you back now, I’m sorry I didn’t call back sooner.” Feeling the connection with her, as if we have known each for years and years and years and years. Hearing the noise of the audience in the background I say to her, “Oh there you are, you’re about to go on, huh?” She tells me she wanted to hear how I was and I explained to her some of the new insights I had come across. I finally ask her, “How can I get back to knowing what people truly feel?” She replied without hesitation, “Fear.” I asked her to repeat because it makes no sense, she says,“Fear.” Taking a pause to reflect on what she has said, I look over to my left and the biggest tsunami takes shape not to far from me—I can’t believe the wonder of it all. Suddenly, and equally as huge, killer whales swim into sight; I yell into the phone, “Oh my god Teal! The most amazing thing is happening!” I continued to watch, three, four, five killer whales swimming in the tsunami wave—and in a blink of an eye, they reduce in size to fit into a fish tank. Things calm down and I apologise to Teal about yelling into the phone. She tells me she needs to go since it is time to start the workshop. I tell her it will be my turn to call her back next time and she sounds delighted to hear it. I wake up, the sun beating on the blinds in the bedroom, back in the real world.

The dream left me so happy, laying next to my wife, I reflected back on the events in the dream. I questioned Teal’s answer to my question along with the other symbols in my dream. I get up and look for my dream book, decoding is afoot.

Closer than you think: Happiness

977A8581F

Taken in Central Park, NYC

In the middle of eating dinner with my wife and her sister — the most delicious dish of leek, PSB (purple sprouting broccoli), and cauliflower smothered in cheese with garlicky spring greens — we had Brian Buckley’s Band playing in the background. As my wife and her sister chatted away, I was sitting in the lap of happinesses. There is something mystical about the combination of great food, great company and great music. The happiness felt incredibly nostalgic, with a mixture of childhood memories, and continual sensation of the feeling you have when you get goosebumps. Those prolonged moments of bliss were so astonishing my wife and her sister didn’t even notice my joyful tear drops. Some questions arose in my mind as I was experiencing it all: Why can’t I feel like this all the time? I pondered and realised that all the worry, disappointments, anger, negative thoughts were holding up this grey brick wall and preventing me from feeling happy in every moment.

There are endless amounts of articles, websites, youtube videos on the subject of happiness and how you can obtain it. Ten, seven, three essential ways; all encouraging people in to keep reaching out for it. Many people think they need to have a specific job, person or car to experience this seemingly untouchable destination of happiness. The most difficult thing a lot of people will avoid; is face themselves. It’s too painful, too sad, takes too much time— a genuine cop out, excuses practiced so well as children that we now carry with us into adulthood. Happiness is behind all those difficulties, waiting like a treasure to be taken. Cultivating evasive justifications, procrastination and resistance is what’s causing all the misery. To make it more complicated, the thoughts that are associated with discomfort, anger and angst, lead people away from their happiness.

People aren’t stupid. Everyone knows exactly what makes them upset and, at the other end, incredibly joyous. We all think that it’s not alright to feel the bad things we feel — we learn this growing up. However, it’s important to remember that “negative” feelings are still valid feelings and they need just as much time and freedom to express themselves in order for us to access happiness, just as we put the time in work to make money. If we invested the same amount of energy into actually giving ourselves empathy, hugs, words of encouragement; that grey wall would diminish quickly.

Pay attention to your thoughts! When you’re becoming angry or sad, take note as to what you’re saying to yourself. When you’re feeling light in your body, smiling,977A0386F take note to what you’re saying to yourself. Do this often enough and that trusty good ol’ subconscious of yours will take over for you and that happiness you want will shine brightly. Many of you will want “practical” ways of doing it. If that’s the case, then you’ll need a pen and paper and to write those thoughts down — better yet, use your smart phone, get a note taking app and type your thoughts in, write the situation and feelings associated with the thoughts. In the end there really are no steps, you just have to pay close attention to yourself. Don’t be so quick to throw out ideas as to what is creating your emotions; really dig in and find the core of how you’re feeling. Happiness is much closer to you than you think.

The Catalyst (Originally 16-Aug-2014)

977A0289FINAL2

Photo Taken at Boston Workshop  

I remember the very first time I saw this woman. She was standing next to this cool animator guy who created Spirit Science animation which explained various aspects of spiritually and human history. They were standing near a mountain it seemed and a lot of snow. I was deeply fascinated by her, not only by her beauty but her charisma. Her laugh, her smile and her energy reeled me in like a cowboy with his lasso. I had to know who she was, I had to see what she was all about, and when I did, I entered the world of Teal Swan (at that time it was Teal Scott).

I watched many many videos of her while my mind was blown into new corners of the universe. The way she explained things about, shadow work, inner child work, love, Source/Creational energy, different dimensions, I grabed onto the concepts extremely quickly. After a while, from watching her weekly “Ask Teal” videos, I felt as though she was in my head, when I thought up a concept or speculated about something in my life, a video would appear explaining those things and verifying my hypothesis.

From watching and reading Teal’s blogs, and through her Facebook group where I met my wife, I’m connecting with various people and creating a whole new family. As Teal, the catalyst to spirituality and connecting people, it wasn’t hard to build a network of friends that shared the same understandings of life, the universe and the realization of self as part of everything. Although I did run into Spirit Science and before that Bashar. Teal I believe I have a very strong connection to, much stronger than I had ever thought even after knowing her.

It was September of 2011 when I was in Park City, Utah and staying at a classmates, Kate, house shooting a short film for her. I was attending New York Film academy in the LA branch and was the final thesis film we were all working on. Walking along in Park City, where my classmates and I were meeting Kate’s father for dinner, I felt as thought someone I knew was there. Now this was before all the “New Age” stuff I am aware of now, you could say, I was just a regular guy then. I looked around curiously and checking out every person that walked by me, I couldn’t figure out who it was. I was fond of area around Park City because of it’s beautiful mountains and lushes wilderness. I knew I wanted to go back.

I told Teal this story and she nodded her head and said yes, “I knew it then”. It was the biggest relief, next to going to the bathroom after holding urine for an extreme long period of time. Meeting Teal was the most uplifting thing ever. It was like meeting a celebrity but actually having a form of connection to the person, especially on a spiritual level. This photo of her I took while she was meeting with people after a day workshop, held in Boston. I made it my mission to be around her a much as possible. I made myself available to people who wanted to take photos with her as the main photographer. I took people’s cameras (phones) and basically shared her space. I didn’t talk with her much, just occasional glances but she knew who I was and what I was doing. I could hear Sarbdeep (Her husband) and Blake (Her director, videographer and editor of her videos) by the door telling people they could give their camera to me.

Being in her presences is like being next to someone who is activating your highest potential on an energetic level. I had only speculated this but being around her I found it to be true. I was much more alert than I usually am and way more conversational (I’m also an introvert) and interacting with people I found it to be much more graceful for me. It was wonderful to simply be with her for an hour, on our feet sharing space.

The tattoo on her arm, when I first learned about it, is an Alchemy sign, each part representing elements for magical work in the quest for physical transformation and spiritual illumination. Teal, on the other hand said this:

    “The circle in the middle represents nothingness, the square represents thought, the triangle represents universal energy (God basically) and the outer circle represents everythingness…total unity…no beginning and no end.  So…if you put it together, the seal means nothingness (void) activated by thought and purified by universal energy = manifestation.”

By understanding this I was intrigued and wanted to get this tattooed for myself. So I found a nice shop where I lived with a cool Korean guy. At first I wanted the tattoo on my left shoulder, since on my right shoulder I have a spider, to have a bit of symmetry. However, the Korean tattooist pulled it down to the exact place Teal has hers because the print out I had, was too big. I tried to get the guy to make it fit but it looked too weird. I didn’t want to appear as a “copy-cat” to Teal or a plain weirdo, but when he placed it on my arm, it simply looked good. For the next hour, not one person came into the store and it was only him and I as this symbol was tattooed to my arm, this was done in August of 2013.

Tribe symbol

All in all, meeting this woman and her friends made me feel even more connected to her along with meeting other people I had become friends with over time. It’s interesting how life unfolds things, interesting how connecting to people you wouldn’t have known until a fews years after, placing the same tattoo in the same place, and meeting the love of my life who is from the same country Teal’s husband is from, England. I didn’t do all these things on purpose, but it sure is interesting.

977A0300FINAL